ADULT JOKES-I SAID ADULT,SO DON'T READ IF YOU'RE A CHILD

[F.I.S.T.]

Be sure to add your own.


Q) What does a woman and Kentucky Fried Chicken have in common?

A) By the time you're finished with the breast and thigh's, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in.


Q) Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team?

A) Because everyone from there that can run,jump and swim are already in the US.


Q) What do you call a 0yr old man who can still masturbate?

A) Miracle Whip.


Q) What do you call an Afghan Virgin?

A) Never Been Laid On.


Q) Why is Santa so jolly?

A) Because he knows where all the naughty girls live.


Q) How does a woman scare a gynecologist?

A) By becoming a ventriloquist.

 

[GRIM]

as long as Lith dont read we good

 

[F.I.S.T.]

as long as Lith dont read we good

LOL

 

[F.I.S.T.]

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says,

“Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married.

One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug, and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues,

“That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.”

The child seems to comprehend. “Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

 

[F.I.S.T.]

A family is at the dinner table. The son asks the father, “Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?”

The father, surprised, answers, “Well, son, a woman goes through three phases.

In her 20s, a woman’s breasts are like melons, round and firm.

In her 30s and 40s, they are like pears, still nice, hanging a bit.

After 50, they are like onions.” “Onions?” the son asks. “Yes. You see them and they make you cry.”

This infuriated his wife and daughter. The daughter asks, “Mom, how many different kinds of willies are there?”

The mother smiles and says, “Well, dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s, his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard.

In his 30s and 40s, it’s like a birch, flexible but reliable.

After his 50s, it’s like a Christmas tree.” “A Christmas tree?” the daughter asks. “Yes, dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.”

 

[F.I.S.T.]

A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Brazilian...." The blonde replies, "Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"

Q: How do you know a blonde likes you?
A: She screws you two nights in a row.

Q: Why do blondes wear underwear?
A: To keep their ankles warm.

Q: What's the difference between a blonde and a guy?
A: The blonde has the higher sperm count.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde with a PhD in Psychology?
A: She'll blow your mind, too.

Q: Did you hear about the new blonde paint?
A: It's not real bright, but its cheap, and spreads easy.

Q: Why are blondes so easy to get into bed? A: Who cares?

Q: What do you call a skeleton in the closet with blonde hair?
A: Last year's hide-and-go-seek winner.

Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on the top of their head?
A: All you can eat, under a buck.

Q: Did you hear about the conceited blonde?
A: She screams her own name when she comes

Q: Why can't blondes count to 70?
A: Because 69 is a bit of a mouthful.

Q: How do you know a blonde has just lost her virginity?
A: Her crayons are still sticky.

 

[GoPro]

I don't know how I came across this thread.....but glad I did LMAO.

 

[R2D2]

where has FIST gone?

 

[GoPro]

where has FIST gone?

No clue.

 

[Snakeman]

Q: What's the difference between a chick-pea and a lentil???


A: I've never had a lentil on my face