Blonde jokes

[ViolentSlaughter]

From ff the top of my head I can thnk of a few...

Why did the blonde die in the helicopter crash?

>>Because She got cold an turned the fan off..

Why did the blonde die at he pool?

>>A kid put a scratch n'sniff sticker at he bottom..

I'm so lame...

 

[Wabbitt]

What do you call a blond who dies her hair brunette?

Artificial Intelligence

 

[ViolentSlaughter]

A Blonde walks into a bar..

>> Tthey have to take her to emergency room because she now has a concussion..

Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.
First Blonde: "I can't seem to get this door unlocked!
Second Blonde:
Well you better hurry up. It's starting to rain and the top is down!
>>>>>>

A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O'clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn't jump.

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

"I can't take this, you're my friend."
But the blonde insisted saying,
"No. A bet's a bet."

Then the redhead said

"Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O'clock news, so I can't take your money."

The blonde replied

"Well, so did I, but I didn't think he would jump again!"

 

[GRIM]

lmao those are funny

 

[Shasta]

Why do blond women always have sore belly buttons?


-Because blond men are dumb too

 

[xxd1v3r]

hahahaha.....that one is good

 

[tuckermax2075]

all of these got me cracking up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[tuckermax2075]

A young blonde woman is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun.

The next day she comes home to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She grabs the gun and holds it to her own head.

The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, "Shut up...you're next!"

 

[TSizemore]

Hahaha! Poor blonde women, just can't catch a break!

 

[GRIM]

Hahaha! Poor blonde women, just can't catch a break!

& they love it!

 

[Wabbitt]

•A Blonde was down on her luck. In order to raise some money, she decided to kidnap a kid and hold him for ransom.
She went to the playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a tree, and told him, "I`ve kidnapped you."

She then wrote a note saying, "I`ve kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning, put $10,000 in a paper bag and put it under the pecan tree next to the slide on the north side of the playground. Signed, Blonde."

The Blonde then taped the note to the kid`s shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents.

The next morning the blonde checked, and sure enough, a paper bag was sitting beneath the pecan tree.

The blonde opened the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow Blonde?"

 

[Wabbitt]

• There were three third graders walking down the street a redhead, brunnette, and a blonde. Which one had the best figure?

The Blonde, she was 18.

 

[Wabbitt]

What's the difference between a blonde guy and a blonde girl?The blonde girl's sperm count is higher.