Sorry to disappear on ya after making this post. I went to see Olya and the damndest thing happened! We were supposed to meet in a hotel but when I arrived I got a text saying her puppy had gotten loose and was across the street in the abandoned warehouse. That sucked because it was already almost midnight and all I had was my flashlight phone, but I couldn't use that because Olya said her puppy is afraid of phones so I had to leave it in my car.
This is when it gets weird... She said her dog is attracted by the sound it makes when a mans wallet is flapping open and closed. WTF? I was pissed. Who would sell her a dog that was clearly crazy!!! I would get to the bottom of this and help her get her money back just as soon as I found this quirky puppy.
Fortunately it didn't take long for me to locate them. I could hear the barking from behind a locked door. Olya was so frightened that her voice was cracking and sounded more like a black dude talking in a high breaking up voice. That nearly broke my heart. Poor scared girl. Turns out she had accidentally locked the door behind her and she didn't have any credit cards to use to pry the lock open. Holy shit was that lucky!!! I had an entire wallet full of them!!!!!
Unfortunately the first 3 cards didn't work. I am not a quitter though, so I kept sliding cards under the door knowing for sure at least one of them would be the right thickness. Through out it all Olya was just cute as a button. She would practice reading the information on my cards, and then she would guess my pin numbers, saying she was psychic. I can tell you for sure that she's no psychic. I would laugh and laugh, and then say, no.... it's 5145, and we would laugh and laugh together. I'll give her this though... she's a hard worker and persistent. She would try her psychic powers over and over again, but they would never work and I would have to correct her.
At this point things were looking pretty hopeless. I thought we should call the police, but Olya came from a county where police are bad so that wasn't an option in her mind. I tried to change her mind, but she said, "Please don't call them. When I get out of here Olga will show you her boobies." Well you know me!!!! I was like, "That sounds GREAT, but I thought your name was Olya."
Poor girl was so scared she got her name wrong. But things just keep getting better. Turns out we were almost related! Turns out her last name was almost the exact same as my mother's maiden name, and get this... when I told her my social security number it turned out to almost be the same too!!!!!!! I know... weird right? You don't see that happening every day.
Olya said she was getting tired and asked me if I would sleep next to the door to be close to her. Then she said she would make everything up to me in a few days and come over to my house, sneak in side during the night and wake me up with a blow job! WOW!!!! I laughed though because she didn't have my address or the front door code or the alarm code. Thanks God I remembered to give those to her or my entire neighborhood would have been woken up by the alarm.
By the time I woke up the sun was just starting to rise. The door was open and Olya was gone. She's damn lucky too, because some time during the night someone had slipped the car keys out of my pocket and tried to set me on fire!!! There was gas all over the place and a packet of matches. You could see where they had dropped them in the water on the floor so they couldn't light them. Thank God or Olya and I would have been killed. This was a BAD neighborhood.
Anyway, by the time I got home this morning I found the front door open and all my stuff gone. What a horrible night. I can't wait to tell Olya about it after she sneaks in and gives me my blowjob tomorrow night. Man is she going to be shocked!!!
I've got to get some sleep now. I'm beat, and my damn credit card companies keep calling the house asking me a bunch of stupid security questions about cash advances. I don't want any cash advances!!!! Man are these guys dumb!!!
