This morning started out great. Got my workout in and got the kids all up to get ready for school and stepped in the shower. That's when it all fell to shit.
My wife comes in holding our bathroom scales (not sure when she took them out) crying her eyes out. Apparently our oldest daughter (12) who isn't obese by any means but isn't a stick either, freaked out and broke down cause her weight went up from yesterday. Now in my head I'm thinking WTF. A. I've told her not weight everyday and obsess and B. we had the water retention talk and how that causes weight to fluctuate. So now I'm getting blamed cause I'm on a prep diet and exercising 3 times a day for our daughters obsessive actions toward her weight. That she is looking at me and trying to copy me and blah blah blah.
Now, something you should know about my wife, she was horribly anorexic in college and only slightly better when we met. I've slowly, over the course of 15 years gotten her to change her thoughts on food, but she still doesn't eat right. I've tried to share a whole picture with her on diet and she pick out what she wants and goes to extremes with it for a week or two then gives up cause she didn't loose any weight. WEIGHT - WTF I don't know how many times I've had this discussion that it's not the scales but the mirror. That BBers their height weigh 300 + pounds but look effing great in the mirror. It's all still a number game to them.
I'm at a real crossroad here. I can't allow my training to create a monster outta my daughters (yeah I have another one that's 9 and a son 5) I try my best to not talk about what I'm doing, but they watch, cause they see the fat coming off me, or me getting bigger. I started all this 3 years ago with one thing in mind, and that was to be a good example to my family on healthy eating and exercise. The contests came about cause I got some great results in my transformation. But now I feel like I'm being destructive to them. Causing them to go to extremes instead of just learning and applying. They think they can get where I am in a couple weeks instead of accepting the fact that it's taken years. Or the fact I've been on supplemental Test and various other compounds.
I say all this to plead for help. If any of you have been through similar situations or are in them now, I need help and support. This has just completely deflated me. Guilt is so heavy right now I'm contemplating walking away, but I never want my kids to see me as a quitter, as a has been or a failure. I've made sure that they are my first priority through all this. If I miss a workout or scheduled meal cause of volleyball or baseball or a concert, then I miss it and I don't say a damn word about it. I want them to know that they are far more important to me than a workout. I learned that the hard way through my first prep. I don't miss games or practice or church or whatever for the sake of bodybuilding cause my first priority is to them.
Anyways, words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated.
My wife comes in holding our bathroom scales (not sure when she took them out) crying her eyes out. Apparently our oldest daughter (12) who isn't obese by any means but isn't a stick either, freaked out and broke down cause her weight went up from yesterday. Now in my head I'm thinking WTF. A. I've told her not weight everyday and obsess and B. we had the water retention talk and how that causes weight to fluctuate. So now I'm getting blamed cause I'm on a prep diet and exercising 3 times a day for our daughters obsessive actions toward her weight. That she is looking at me and trying to copy me and blah blah blah.
Now, something you should know about my wife, she was horribly anorexic in college and only slightly better when we met. I've slowly, over the course of 15 years gotten her to change her thoughts on food, but she still doesn't eat right. I've tried to share a whole picture with her on diet and she pick out what she wants and goes to extremes with it for a week or two then gives up cause she didn't loose any weight. WEIGHT - WTF I don't know how many times I've had this discussion that it's not the scales but the mirror. That BBers their height weigh 300 + pounds but look effing great in the mirror. It's all still a number game to them.
I'm at a real crossroad here. I can't allow my training to create a monster outta my daughters (yeah I have another one that's 9 and a son 5) I try my best to not talk about what I'm doing, but they watch, cause they see the fat coming off me, or me getting bigger. I started all this 3 years ago with one thing in mind, and that was to be a good example to my family on healthy eating and exercise. The contests came about cause I got some great results in my transformation. But now I feel like I'm being destructive to them. Causing them to go to extremes instead of just learning and applying. They think they can get where I am in a couple weeks instead of accepting the fact that it's taken years. Or the fact I've been on supplemental Test and various other compounds.
I say all this to plead for help. If any of you have been through similar situations or are in them now, I need help and support. This has just completely deflated me. Guilt is so heavy right now I'm contemplating walking away, but I never want my kids to see me as a quitter, as a has been or a failure. I've made sure that they are my first priority through all this. If I miss a workout or scheduled meal cause of volleyball or baseball or a concert, then I miss it and I don't say a damn word about it. I want them to know that they are far more important to me than a workout. I learned that the hard way through my first prep. I don't miss games or practice or church or whatever for the sake of bodybuilding cause my first priority is to them.
Anyways, words of wisdom will be greatly appreciated.
