Marraige issue

[anabol69]

I'm sure there has to be one member to deal with a not so good marraige in here?
This past Wed was my 50th Birthday and yea it sucks but honestly I feel great. I run my own business, I'm healthy, I live a pretty good life.
So I been a member on here for a good amount of years and didnt want to post this on a larger board as even with more feedback from them I thought I'd reach out to my Enhanced family.
This past Wed my wife made reservations for dinner locally as I didnt want this big deal made out of my 50th. So she invited my parents and us along w her 2 kids that dont have my DNA.
At end of night I felt realllyyy shitty and just felt really hurt. Im not this poor me type of guy but on my 50th I would think that my wife would AT LEAST give me a Birthday card or something symbolizing her love etc.
Again she knows I dont need anything but that night before bed I just really hurt. I would think my wife would show me how much I mean to her, Im 50 only once and just allow me to say "wow thanks". But...I didnt get anything.
Now some might think well we went to dinner. Thing is my parents insisted on paying but thats just how they are.
The following day....I went to work and I dont know what it is but I actually started to cry and im not even on Tren lol. I had sooo many emotions going through my head. That night I confronted wife w my thoughts and she basically said "Wow I didnt think not getting you anything would affect you this much". I expressed well it really did as its my 50th and that only happens once.
She started to cry and tear up and than I felt bad but honestly its how I felt.

I've spoken to many and they tell me shes feeling really guilty and all that. To be honest she hasnt said much for about 3 days and to herself. Last night I asked her if shes ok and she said no that I made her feel belittled and this big 'holding her fingers together almost touching'. Basically saying shes feeling tiny.

Now im no pussy type but honestly I do have a heart and soul. Since Wed my Birthday I've felt shitty and I just feel so distant from her. She says shes keeping to herself and basically has shutdown. I say hey whatever I told you how I felt and if you wanna play victim than you do that

I just know im a great guy with a huge heart and I've always showed love. I honestly had friends send me cards/gifts who dont even live w me but than here I have my wife who didnt do shit.

Help me out guys w this.

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[GRIM]

Wish I had something to say that would help but all I can say is I know how you feel. Different subject but I havent seen or heard from my son in several years. I make sure he gets a card and cash or something every birthday, christmas etc but I never even get an acknowledgement from him or my Xwife.

Feeling suck esp on tren! 😛

 

[anabol69]

Wish I had something to say that would help but all I can say is I know how you feel. Different subject but I havent seen or heard from my son in several years. I make sure he gets a card and cash or something every birthday, christmas etc but I never even get an acknowledgement from him or my Xwife.

Feeling suck esp on tren! 😛

I hear ya buddy. You have big heart. Never give up

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[BigKev]

Your not alone... I'm lucky that my younger boy at least loves me enough to remember fathers day.... My older son barely sends a text on birthdays. My ex wife was pretty good at making me feel a little special because she had to. Holidays are dumb. I'm numb to them now. There for the kids as far as I'm concerned. Keep your head up bud.

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[BigKev]

And Grim is right.... All these hormones make things worse.... Lol.

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[sityslicker1]

Thats really crappy bro. I also think its pathetic that she tried to reverse the role of victim. Typical female behavior to save face, use manipulation and not have to accept accountable for her action . She didnt even address your feelings before spinning off making it about her. I wouldnt feel sorry for her one bit. Instead she should of done what someone does when truely love and appreciate you, which is Apologize and make it up to you some thoughtful way. How she reacted says a lot. She needs a little taste of silent treatment. And all the nice stuff you do for her has to stop and she has to re earn these things little by little just like a little child. I say this because right now it sounds like she is taking you for granted and no longer places the same value in you as she once did. You have to get that respect back. Please dont fall for her manipulation, take back control.

 

[anabol69]

Thats really crappy bro. I also think its pathetic that she tried to reverse the role of victim. Typical female behavior to save face, use manipulation and not have to accept accountable for her action . She didnt even address your feelings before spinning off making it about her. I wouldnt feel sorry for her one bit. Instead she should of done what someone does when truely love and appreciate you, which is Apologize and make it up to you some thoughtful way. How she reacted says a lot. She needs a little taste of silent treatment. And all the nice stuff you do for her has to stop and she has to re earn these things little by little just like a little child. I say this because right now it sounds like she is taking you for granted and no longer places the same value in you as she once did. You have to get that respect back. Please dont fall for her manipulation, take back control.

I agree bro. Thanks

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[R2D2]

how are things now? has it blown over? how are you feeling?

 

[jshredz]

I'll be honest and I'll try not to be harsh here.
Bro you fell victim to what women do to us. They say they don't want a big present or anything but in reality they always expect something.
You said you didn't want to make a big deal about your 50th birthday and she did just that.
My only suggestion for next time is be expressive about what you really want.
I've been guilty many times of not making a big deal about my Birthday. But then comes that one Birthday where you feel ripped off...
50 comes only once but guess what so does 51... get pass this and learn from it.

 

[anabol69]

I'll be honest and I'll try not to be harsh here.
Bro you fell victim to what women do to us. They say they don't want a big present or anything but in reality they always expect something.
You said you didn't want to make a big deal about your 50th birthday and she did just that.
My only suggestion for next time is be expressive about what you really want.
I've been guilty many times of not making a big deal about my Birthday. But then comes that one Birthday where you feel ripped off...
50 comes only once but guess what so does 51... get pass this and learn from it.

I agree brother. Funny thing is my Bday was June 12th and she told me she wants to take me for a Birthday dinner. I basically said I dont wanna think of my 50th so I'll see what 51 brings me. I wanted to make her feel a lil shitty so that was that.

As far as its going today we seem to be ok. I still feel a bit crushed over everything but I'll be ok. Kinda tough to get over being I only turn 50 once.

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[anabol69]

how are things now? has it blown over? how are you feeling?

I seem to be ok.

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[R2D2]

how's the wife tho? in my experience women tend to hold on to stuff longer.

 

[anabol69]

how's the wife tho? in my experience women tend to hold on to stuff longer.

Yea she seems to be fine. I'm sure it'll be stuck in her head awhile on what transpired on my Bday.

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[The Tone]

I totally can understand this conversation as being married for the third time and being married to my now wife for 17 years have to make it work!

Communication is the best thing for a marriage. what you did in my opinion was correct confront the situation and don't wait. What I find to work the best is to pick a time you can both speak calmly to each other.
One of the things that you could have done is point out to her that you understood by expressing your feelings you made her feel belittle but there again it's not about her and refocus the conversation on your feelings and your emptiness regarding your birthday. And basically letting her know that you would be up for a makeup birthday. Not necessarily the dinner but maybe a nice gift and some awesome sex!!! Hopefully this helps you out brother.

 

[pulooooooo]

Thats really crappy bro. I also think its pathetic that she tried to reverse the role of victim. Typical female behavior to save face, use manipulation and not have to accept accountable for her action . She didnt even address your feelings before spinning off making it about her. I wouldnt feel sorry for her one bit. Instead she should of done what someone does when truely love and appreciate you, which is Apologize and make it up to you some thoughtful way. How she reacted says a lot. She needs a little taste of silent treatment. And all the nice stuff you do for her has to stop and she has to re earn these things little by little just like a little child. I say this because right now it sounds like she is taking you for granted and no longer places the same value in you as she once did. You have to get that respect back. Please dont fall for her manipulation, take back control.

I really like this response. As I go through this bs a lot.