Dealing with women

[Daredevil]

Last few months my lady and I have experienced some hiccups and headaches in our relationship and she dropped the line on me. "I'm not in love with you anymore".

I wanted to talk about it with you guys and discuss some mistakes I've made and some she had made and ways to make sure your relationship works.

I've been so focused on being the bread earner in the home that sometimes I neglect her. Also one time she told me the truth about something and I blew up at her.

The result was she was always afraid to speaking openly to me about issues and her thoughts. Eventually she just started lying about shit.

This is a woman I love dearly. So after counseling for weeks I've realized my faults and how to correct them.

Each day I verbally compliment her on anything I can. Honey you look magnificent. Honey thank you for cooking dinner, not all wives cook dinner. Honey thank you for handling those errands today. Etc.

I've also stopped focusing on always wanting sex and instead suggest honey let me give you a massage or neck rub, which I know it will lead into wonderful sex.

Try to remember to make your wife, lover or significant other a part of your day and life and not just turn into a robot.

These little things can make a relationship work and last.

Also I recommend everyone that can afford $15 that's in a relationship to buy the book "Five languages of love" by Dr Gregory Chapman

 

[lith56bigguy]

Not bad advice at all my friend

 

[tkasch30]

The book,is alot cheaper then getting a girl friend, I can tell you that from experience

 

[Daredevil]

LOL TK!!!! Very true my friend!

 

[Skunx]

Dang bro, I just grabbed my chic. I wish you the best amigo, I'll say a prayer for your marriage

 

[Daredevil]

Skunx I give her so many compliments every day plus I started doing grocery shopping and cooking. So now things are going great and I don't even have to ask for sex she just jumps my bones. Lol

 

[Hugebro]

DD that's a good post and great to hear bro. Glad things are going good for you both. But what did she say that was the truth, hopefully nothing about penis size? Lol just kidding bro
Best of luck brutha

 

[krustus]

glad it's working out... i would be devastated to hear those words...

people are so quick to say the negative stuff and so slow to tell the positives...in all relationships...work, friends, wives...etc

oh and that five languages of love... i would have never guessed how much acts of service meant to my wife... glad that book helped me!

 

[Daredevil]

Hugebro I had found out she was smoking weed, which isn't a big deal but she's in the military reserves and that's dumb because they can kick you out for failing a Urine test. What's wrong is I found out she had smoked in the car around my kids. But that was just one time out of many she was getting high. So you can see why I was pissed.

After I found out she was smoking weed through a mutual friend she just shut down on talking about issues.

She had admitted to smoking weed but only after I found out she did that around the kids one time.

Other than that she drinks and drives occasionally.

But I handled it all in a civilized way. I offer to drive her to wherever lounge she goes to and she gets a taxi home when she does go out once every two weeks. As far as smoking weed she gave that up. I now give her massages to relieve her stress.

My problem was when I found shit out I went overboard yelling and punched a few holes in the wall. Steroids tend to make us even more aggressive and angry.

 

[Daredevil]

Krustus she told me that out of anger and frustration with our relationship. We have read that book together which has helped out drastically.

It definitely helped and brought us closer.

 

[Daredevil]

Duplicate of above.

 

[Hugebro]

Awesome I love hearing positive stuff like this

 

[Daredevil]

For the last several weeks I have given my all to my wife. I've constantly complimented her and thanked her and even as she gains a little weight I've told her how lucky I am to have her.

So I felt everything was going great.

Then late last night we were reading this book on how to fix relationships and she tells me she doesn't feel that all that I do is sincere and feels it's "mechanical". Basically she said all the compliments and thank you's etc is bullshit and not genuine.

That totally crushed me because I have been doing everything to make her happy and to make us work. Yes I will say I'm part of the problem in the relationship but I'm not the whole problem. It really hurt that she basically crushed all my efforts with those words.

I'm at the point that I don't give a fuck and feel like seeing someone on the side.

 

[krustus]

Then late last night we were reading this book on how to fix relationships and she tells me she doesn't feel that all that I do is sincere and feels it's "mechanical". Basically she said all the compliments and thank you's etc is bullshit and not genuine.

I had a friend go through the exact same thing... i always felt that it was the woman not feeling confident about her looks or whatever else you are complimenting her on... so she assumes it has to be bullshit.

like someone being told they are a genius when they know they are not...lol...

your words alone can not build her self esteem... you can only support her efforts to build her own.

relationships are complicated and all are different... some need space ..some need more time together... some need constant attention or compliments...others are bothered by it.

i've been in relationships before..where the girl really wanted a guy that was more of an asshole than i was ... and it sucked.. i had to treat them worse in order for them to be happy...lol... what kind of shit is that..

honestly i only had one other girlfriend before i got married that was a good match for me... when i went through several others after her and none were gonna be a match for me... i met my wife... i knew within 2 weeks that she was a match for me... i had to do whatever it took to keep this one, there might not be another like it....lol.

i dont know any answers for you or your situation... only you and her can figure it out... maybe she needs more asshole treatment from you?.. maybe she needs more loving treatment? more romance? less romance? ...point is only you and her know these things.

 

[Daredevil]

I don't think being an asshole would help. Being more romantic isn't helping.

I think I need to stop caring so much and just live and enjoy life and see someone on the side for awhile, that way my feelings remain not caring.

Sometimes I feel she's forcing herself to be in this relationship because she has no where to go and no options in life and she's unhappy. Maybe if I stop caring she will realize I'm drifting off.

 

[krustus]

Sometimes I feel she's forcing herself to be in this relationship because she has no where to go and no options in life and she's unhappy.

if that's true... there's not much you can do...

 

[Daredevil]

So I found out from one of her friends that she said she doesn't like me anymore, that I'm lame and she's considering leaving.

Well looks like counseling and reading that book and all the nice stuff I've done has paid off.

Can't wait until my next cycle so I can get massive and ripped and have all the women wanting me.

 

[F.I.S.T.]

Last few months my lady and I have experienced some hiccups and headaches in our relationship and she dropped the line on me. "I'm not in love with you anymore".

I wanted to talk about it with you guys and discuss some mistakes I've made and some she had made and ways to make sure your relationship works.

I've been so focused on being the bread earner in the home that sometimes I neglect her. Also one time she told me the truth about something and I blew up at her.

The result was she was always afraid to speaking openly to me about issues and her thoughts. Eventually she just started lying about shit.

This is a woman I love dearly. So after counseling for weeks I've realized my faults and how to correct them.

Each day I verbally compliment her on anything I can. Honey you look magnificent. Honey thank you for cooking dinner, not all wives cook dinner. Honey thank you for handling those errands today. Etc.

I've also stopped focusing on always wanting sex and instead suggest honey let me give you a massage or neck rub, which I know it will lead into wonderful sex.

Try to remember to make your wife, lover or significant other a part of your day and life and not just turn into a robot.

These little things can make a relationship work and last.

Also I recommend everyone that can afford $15 that's in a relationship to buy the book "Five languages of love" by Dr Gregory Chapman

Sorry to hear about it my friend.You know,sometimes as a couple you have to deal with stresses TOGETHER.The important thing is to never see them as an individual problem.When you're in a relationship,there is no individualism any longer.Your problems are hers and vice versa.They are a couples problem that you have to fix TOGETHER.Too many couples forget this and try to deal with stress and problems alone.WRONG THING TO DO.You have to be strong together and help each other stay strong and focused and beat whatever is in your way together.

Trust me,there have been times in my 30 plus yrs of marriage where I was a mutha fucker to deal with but my Queen always let me vent from the day and we discussed issues that were bothering me and I felt much better.I never took it out on her but was venting on her and she always understood and never let it get to her.She has been my strength in many times when I needed the xtra hand.

As for what you said about always showing love for your wife/gf,this couldn't be more true brother.It's not about big things like spending money on expensive gits either.It the little signs on love and appreciation that go a long way.A text during the day saying I love you or miss you can mean the world.

When I was starting out my biz and times were tough with money,every single morning I would go to a local convenience store and get my Queen a single rose and a cupcake and sometimes a cup of coffee and bring it home to her in bed before I opened my gym.EVERY SINGLE DAY for yrs this was my routine.I would walk into our bedroom,give her a kiss and leave those things for her when she woke up.

To this day,we still hold hands,we still give little kisses everytime I come home from my biz or were away.I still open doors for her and I tell her everyday how blessed I am to have her and she made my life what it is.I always tell her how incredible a mother she is for our kids too.

Thats what ive learned over the course of my marriage.Not really that hard to have a happy marriage/relationship if you truly want it to be successful.Never let your ego,stress,money problems,etc, get in the way of your love for her.

 

[F.I.S.T.]

So I found out from one of her friends that she said she doesn't like me anymore, that I'm lame and she's considering leaving.

Well looks like counseling and reading that book and all the nice stuff I've done has paid off.

Can't wait until my next cycle so I can get massive and ripped and have all the women wanting me.

Sorry my brother.Look,sometimes there comes a time when you have to accept that she may not be Mrs Right for you.In life you will have many relationships and all you can do is learn from each one and put those learned lessons into place for the next relationship.

Always remember that sometimes the WANT to be in a relationship keeps you WANTING to be in one thats not working.If it doesnt work out,then it means you are not right for each other.Nothing wrong with that.Sometimes we are meant to be alone.Eventually your true Mrs Right will come along and all the things you've learned will make you that much better for her.Of course she has to be willing to learn from her mistakes and adjust as well.Thats what a relationship is about.No 2 people will be 100% on the same page in likes,dislikes,etc,but loving someone means sometimes changing ones thoughts for the betterment of the relationship for the one you love.Just make sure you love them for the RIGHT reasons and not just to be with someone.You have to worthy of someones love and they worthy of yours.Dont be one of those idiots on Jerry Springer that is in an abusive relationship and when asked why they answer "BECAUSE I LOVE THEM" If thats what they love,WTF do they hate?? Love someone thats worthy of it.

 

[Daredevil]

So my wife told me today that she feels we need time apart. I thought things were getting better.

I think it's her polite way of saying that she's leaving me. Time apart doesn't help in my opinion, it just creates space and distance.