Useless Facts

A woman was walking along the sand on the NSW Central Coast, when she stumbled upon an old brass lamp. She picked it up and rubbed it, and lo-and-behold, out popped a genie.

The genie said, "Hey Girl, waassup?"

The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. "Nope, just one wish. Due to inflation, constant downsizing, low wages and fierce global competition, I can only grant you one wish. So..what'll it be?"

Unhesitatingly, the woman said, "I want peace in the Middle East. See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other, now and forever."



The Genie looked at the map and shrieked, "Girrrll, I don't think so, not in my lifetime!! These countries have been at war for thousands of years. I'm GOOD Honey, but not THAT GOOD. I don't think it can be done. So make another wish."

The woman's thought for a moment and said, "Well, I've never been able to find 'Mr. Right'. You know, a man who's considerate and fun, warm and affectionate, gorgeous, is well endowed, only wants sex with me, doesn't do drugs or drink too much, has a great job with a good income, loves to travel, goes to the theatre, likes to cook and help with the housecleaning, gets along with my family and tells me I always look fabulous, and is great in bed. That's what I wish for...the perfect guy to have as my lover."



The genie let out a long sigh, clutched his hand to his heart and said, "let me see that map again".
 
A woodpecker’s tongue actually wraps all the way around its brain, protecting it from damage when it’s hammering into a tree.
 
Nine-banded armadillos always have quadruplets, and they’re always identical.
 
Gorillas can catch human colds — you’re probably still safe to go to the zoo with the sniffles, though.
 
Forget bald eagles. The turkey was once almost named the national bird.
 
Want to know if your pet turtle is a boy or girl? Listen closely! Female turtles hiss and male turtles grunt.
 

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