OK, This is about my wife. I don't understand shit anymore. Here's the breif history to the current RANT:
After we had kids she basically lost all sex drive and we would go months with no sex, like fuckin 6 and 8 months and stuff. It killed me. I developed a porn addiction and started to see her as just a roommate and Bitch for not seeing my needs even after it had been explained several times. We went to Counseling and even the counselors told her she was in the wrong. As a Christian, withholding sex is not excusable unless it's agreed to by both husband and wife. She was ignoring it completely. Literally this went on for 13 years and I hit a break point and said "fuk it". I had a Massage therapist tempting the hell out of me. She was throwing herself at me all the time and I got to the point I left my wife for a few days really contemplating divorce. I mean how could she not want me like this other woman did. The time away gave me perspective and we worked it out. She "Finally" realized how important intimacy was to the both of us in our relationship and things changed. That was almost 2 years ago.
Now we getting back there again. I know things are heckic, but all night last night we hinted around about having sex and had a ton of playful banter and I was excited as hell. I mean once a week is still tolerable for me and a huge improvement but it has been a couple weeks and I was really ready to go. I shower, brush my teeth and jump in bed. She does nothing, gets in bed, turns on the lamp and pulls out a magazine and turns the damn TV on. WTF. I'm pissed. I don't expect her to read my mind but damn, we'd been sexting all night. Now it's 10:30 I'm really tired but really want some lovin' and she could care fucking less! I got up and went to the couch. She asks what's wrong and I'm thinking really, are you that dense? We've been over and over and over it. It's a broken record. I mean we do typically watch some TV before bed, And she always falls asleep 4 minutes into the show and the damn TV makes me not wanna sleep, unless we have sex, then I'm out like a light.
I'm afraid we're headed down the same damn road. I gotta accept the fact she is not going to fulfill my sexual needs. For a while after I left 2 years ago she had sex with me 3,4, 5 times a week. She even said it was greatly fulfilling for her too. Now it's not? The Massage therapist is now back sending me nude pics and texts and I don't wanna cheat, and I've told her that, but damn, it's fuking nice to have a hot woman tell you you're sexy and that she wouldn't do what wifey is doing. I'm not gonna give in, I can't, I have too much to loose with my kids for sure. If I have to suffer the rest of my life so be it, I won't put my kids through an affair and divorce as long as I have anything to do with it. I'll just rant and be pissed then jerk off. She was pissed about catching me with porn, but if I'm not getting it from her, porn's a better option than the Massage therapist in my mind. hell maybe it's the same.
Thanks for allowing me to RANT. Rock RANT over.
After we had kids she basically lost all sex drive and we would go months with no sex, like fuckin 6 and 8 months and stuff. It killed me. I developed a porn addiction and started to see her as just a roommate and Bitch for not seeing my needs even after it had been explained several times. We went to Counseling and even the counselors told her she was in the wrong. As a Christian, withholding sex is not excusable unless it's agreed to by both husband and wife. She was ignoring it completely. Literally this went on for 13 years and I hit a break point and said "fuk it". I had a Massage therapist tempting the hell out of me. She was throwing herself at me all the time and I got to the point I left my wife for a few days really contemplating divorce. I mean how could she not want me like this other woman did. The time away gave me perspective and we worked it out. She "Finally" realized how important intimacy was to the both of us in our relationship and things changed. That was almost 2 years ago.
Now we getting back there again. I know things are heckic, but all night last night we hinted around about having sex and had a ton of playful banter and I was excited as hell. I mean once a week is still tolerable for me and a huge improvement but it has been a couple weeks and I was really ready to go. I shower, brush my teeth and jump in bed. She does nothing, gets in bed, turns on the lamp and pulls out a magazine and turns the damn TV on. WTF. I'm pissed. I don't expect her to read my mind but damn, we'd been sexting all night. Now it's 10:30 I'm really tired but really want some lovin' and she could care fucking less! I got up and went to the couch. She asks what's wrong and I'm thinking really, are you that dense? We've been over and over and over it. It's a broken record. I mean we do typically watch some TV before bed, And she always falls asleep 4 minutes into the show and the damn TV makes me not wanna sleep, unless we have sex, then I'm out like a light.
I'm afraid we're headed down the same damn road. I gotta accept the fact she is not going to fulfill my sexual needs. For a while after I left 2 years ago she had sex with me 3,4, 5 times a week. She even said it was greatly fulfilling for her too. Now it's not? The Massage therapist is now back sending me nude pics and texts and I don't wanna cheat, and I've told her that, but damn, it's fuking nice to have a hot woman tell you you're sexy and that she wouldn't do what wifey is doing. I'm not gonna give in, I can't, I have too much to loose with my kids for sure. If I have to suffer the rest of my life so be it, I won't put my kids through an affair and divorce as long as I have anything to do with it. I'll just rant and be pissed then jerk off. She was pissed about catching me with porn, but if I'm not getting it from her, porn's a better option than the Massage therapist in my mind. hell maybe it's the same.
Thanks for allowing me to RANT. Rock RANT over.
